The truth about ceiling fans

A human periscope.

What’s it like to be one? To see things from up here?

Lately, I’ve been riffing on this on a philosophical level.

But what about the literal level? What’s it like, day to day, to be a 6’7″ beanpole?

I touched on it back in my first ever post and thought it was worth revisiting because, well, humour.

Like most of my blogs, it starts with a shower reference

What most people don’t realise is that 98% of showers are designed for regular sized humans.

Being a human periscope means I only ever get a steady stream of water from the chest down. And yes, it’s as unsatisfying as it sounds.

Tall people forget they’re tall

Despite the fact that everywhere you go, someone reminds you “sh!t, you’re tall”, it’s strange how often I forget.

In my head, I’m the same height as everyone else… until I catch my reflection in a shop window and think “who’s that freak?… Oh, wait”

When you see another tall person, you think they look out of place

Building on the last point, my first reaction to seeing someone tall is “that person looks ridiculous”…

Yep.

Ceiling fans are weapons, not luxuries

Have you ever been hit in the side of the noggin by a ceiling fan set to ‘3’?

I wouldn’t recommend it.

I’ve seen the top shelf of your cupboards

And it is filthy. You should be ashamed of yourself.

The most common reflection I see is my torso

Because the ‘top’ of most mirrors sit at my neck level.

Forgive me if I have something in my teeth, there’s no mirror high enough for me to see.

Headrests aren’t as comfortable as you think

When they’re awkwardly stuck between your shoulder blades.

Hugging is straight up awkward

I know it and you know it.

And yet here we are, with your hair in my mouth and my arms awkwardly wrapped around your neck.

Finally, yes, I had to duck to get under that door frame back there

Thanks for clarifying.